So, I’m trying to secure a bill-paying job in Chicago, and I’m capable of doing and qualified to do a lot. Really. But I can’t actually apply for anything yet because I can’t begin work until late July, towards the end of the tour.

This. Drives. Me. In. Sane. This drives anyone insane whose nightly activities include typing out an itinerary in 30-minute increments for the following day.  (Who’s with me on that?) The second I open my eyes each morning, I’m mentally going through my “To Do” list. This is the type of person I am. I’m not neurotic, but I prepare, prioritize, organize, and list my existence, which allows me to be “laid back” to the naked eye. However, I cannot lie back if I have rent to pay and zero employment after August 1. I want to apply and interview for jobs now – notin July, which is apparently “too early”. Yessica and I also experienced much criticism during our apartment search for the same reason, as we began looking in March for May 1 leases (both of us planners); some leasing agents actually laughed in our faces for our sense of responsibility. Just to put things into perspective, it takes me up to a month to get Chief into his groomer in Indianapolis. So, basically, that means I have to plan further in advance to get my dog a grooming appointment than I do to find a residence to keep the dog or to find the job that pays for grooming the dog. I’m trying to reconcile this in my brain, but I can’t. And it would be most appreciated if people did not find it funny that I like to and need to do things “too early”. Whatever happened to that damn “early bird” saying? Well, I WANT THE FUCKING WORM!

OKAY?!

(Taking it down a notch, yet maintaining intensity and intimidating eye-contact. Probably uncomfortably close to your face with my index finger threatening the tip of your nose.) And so does Chief.

Which is arguably why he’s sleeping right now. My dog will beat your dog to the worm. He’ll be there early! That’s my new bumper sticker for the Honda Civic LX I’m getting rid of this week.  And that’s why I get things done. And that’s why I’m a good employee.

(Please understand that that was all false anger. But it also might be the first draft of a new monologue. Or my cover letter.)

However, this job search was not entirely futile. For instance, I learned that my bangs can actually make me quite the hot commodity, which might bode well for future employment opportunities.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/06/27/104-girls-with-bangs/

Like: “For white people, the haircut-with-bangs is an important symbol that a female has completed her transformation from a nerdy girl to a cool woman. In fact, if you went to high school with a nerdy white girl who moved to a big city, there is a good chance she will show up to your high school reunion with this haircut.” Watch out, GHS! That is, if I ever go to a high school reunion. Which I most likely will not.

I have seen the book that was borne out of this blog several times on featured displays in all ‘white people’ bookstores, including Borders and Barnes&Noble, but I have never actually picked it up. I came across the blog post whilst Google-ing whether or not my bangs would help me secure employment in the big city or not. Apparently, they will.

Nerdy white girl from high school: One.

Chicago: Zero.

Success. #smallvictories

This next link (which I revisited after previously being introduced to it by a friend of mine in December) was also quite informative during today’s stroll down I-need-a-damn-job lane.  Bangs, once again, confirms my decision to keep my hairstyle, despite it youthify-ing me about 5 years when I already look 15 without them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmJbJs-9ST0&feature=related

Sudan is so hot. Yes. You can absolutely take me to the movies.

In my next post, I’ll get back to that stupid acting stuff. Also in next issue: Chief will share his thoughts on having to go to proper obedience classes upon arrival in Chicago and what it was like to roll in another dog’s mess today and subsequently get a bath. Ewgross.

P.S. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot3a_rH7c-o&feature=related. No. Absolutely not.