Technology + Shame = Babies
Remember that time I moved to Chicago?
That was awhile ago, and quite a bit has happened since; however, because I learned in Acting 101 that storytelling does not a good audition make, I choose to not update you in long form. But this text message society likes a good status update, so here goes:
Ashlee Edgemon is msging from her 2nd Chi-town apt.
I am no longer funny; I wear my bangs almost exclusively to the side; I have Type 1 Diabetes; and he liked it, so he put a ring on it. And while all of these are integral parts to who I am today as Little Lady making her way in the Big City, I think the best thing to happen to me over the last eight-ish months is Netflix on demand via Wii.
Okay, let’s be honest, it rocks. And now I have absolutely no reason to leave my apartment, which is what I have been searching for since I graduated. Sure, it’s slightly tricky to get that little gloved pointer finger to hover over “Play episode 5” instead of “Add to instant Queue”, but where else could I acquire and watch Babies the documentary without public shame, ridicule, or parents hinting at grandchildren? And sooner or later my real-world hand-eye coordination will be reprogrammed to match the digital sensor’s. This adjustment is mere pocket change as payment for Babies on demand. And if you saw that little Nairobian baby slurping water from that puddle or that charming Mongolian babe
swaddled bound and tied in blankets and left lying on that bed for hours while mom milks the goats, you, too, would deal with the carpal tunnel. So precious!
What I learned from Babies:
1.) American parents are lame, like wannabe hippies with access to plastics.
2.) Japanese babies stand first. Triumph!
3.) My kid will play naked in the mud.
4.) I can watch a whole documentary without words.
Literally the only downside to Netflix on Demand is that my fiancé knows I watched Babies…
damn email log.
- five2withbangs posted this